Day 36 Keto

Keto weight: 225.5 this morning!

That's 13 lbs down in 5 weeks.

I also started the 21 Day Fix [work out program] today.

Day 1 in the books!

Now to keep it up.

Dream Goal

My dream weight, my dream figure is to be tiny like Audrey Hepburn. I know it's impossible because my shoulders are much too wide and I'm 225.9 lbs. She was probably 110 lbs sopping wet.

Realistically, IF I can lose the amount of weight I want [101.9 lbs] then I'll probably have more of a Marilyn Monroe figure. I have the classic hourglass, extreme hips and broad shoulders [Flat bosom which sucks].

A girl can dream.

I read recently where one of the main characters told the other that "you can be anything but to never be anyone but [themselves]"

I should dream to be the very best version of myself... not Hepburn or Monroe. They were the best and worst of themselves too. They had flaws [okay maybe not Hepburn] too. 

Day 32 Keto

Keto weigh in this morning:

225.9

YESSSS.

I haven't been this weight since the birth of my son. I can't even express how pumped I am about this occurrence.

I still enjoy an occasional coffee with almond creamer usually as a treat.

My breakfasts mainly consist of either my sausage soup or mmm yummy fajitas with low-carb tortillas and a splash of garlic aoili sauce. 

I even enjoy pizza [cauliflower crust pizza and it's NOT bad. It's actually pretty good].

The only problem is that this week I really wanted sugary drinks. But! I stayed the course. I actually put a splash of cranberry/grape juice in my water, just enough to make it light light *light* pink. So it wasn't much. That helped some of my sweet cravings. And I still lost a pound of weight.

Yay!

day 24 of Keto!

I am down 12 lbs. Which isn't the best I could do but it's still pretty frggn awesome. 

226.4 lbs this morning. Just another 102.4 to go until my "ideal" weight. 

Sanctimonious Husband

I hate having arguments with my husband, because in his eyes... he's always right.

Plus half of our arguments are over childish sht.

I told him I didn't want to watch "his" show with him because he forces me to watch them out of order. He then explained I had the ability to watch them at night. Which isn't true [I share television time with the kids]. However, I also explained that I like to watch shows in order. He KNOWS this about me. I've re-started whole series over and over if I lose my place. So, his thought is that I can watch Episode 10 today and spend that time "with the family" [as if the kids aren't plugged straight into their tablets the whole time] and then watch the previous episodes at night that way HE doesn't lose HIS place in the show while I work and he continues to watch the rest without me.

It's so childish and stupid to fight over this, especially since it's *my* lunchtime. My breaktime.

My frustration is his reaction, he started swearing at me and then stomping around and ignoring me for the rest of the time while mumbling under his breath.

I can't live with that hostility and honestly I'd rather be ANYWHERE but here right now. I know I love him but right now I don't like him at all.

day 3 of Keto

That's right. I was sick and tired of looking at the scale and seeing it go up, so I'm back on Keto. So far it's been pretty good. I'm kind of concerned for tonight after work. Yesterday I skipped dinner cause I wasnt really hungry and then this morning I wasn't really feeling breakfast.... I just had a snack of cheese, which I try to limit, and hopefully that'll keep me full until dinner.

Lunch today was leftover salad.

What I'm most proud of myself is the amount of water I'm drinking. And I've essentially cut out coffee.

Yay.

Depression

I'm struggling to fight off my depression today because I'm so concerned over my weight.

It's a good day. It's beautiful out, I worked some weekend OT for the first time in forever, and the kids are at their grandparents. Today should be a nice "break" day and yet I'm struggling with myself.

My kitchen still looks pretty great, so that's a win.

Depression sucks. Being obese fucking sucks even more.